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Brand new Boss

Last Wednesday, I was watching the inauguration in a friend’s house (and dropped cuss words on promises that he intends to break and actions that are  potentially vindictive). Even though many people are starstruck and hypnotized by President Benigno Simeon Cojuanco Aquino III’s promise of no sirens, no convoys, no “justice without reconciliation”, no godfathers, no grease money, “Kayo ang boss ko“, and various reiterations of his campaign promises, I’m not buying it. And he mentioned his parents a couple of times. Though it is good to acknowledge them, it would be better for him if he would concentrate in creating his own legacy. Anyway, here is my list of suggestions that His Excellency must read ad act upon, if ever.

  1. He should have more political will and engage in less vindictive motives. Let the Truth commission investigate the abuses of power – not only from the Arroyo era, but also the Ramos, Estrada, Marcos and Cory Aquino eras. (If they fail to expose the corrupt practices during the Cory era and prosecute the personalities behind it, then I have the right to call the Truth Commission a witchhunt committee).
  2. When choosing a song to perform, avoid love ballads, emo songs and songs that glorify losers, like Estudyante Blues. Go rap Me Against the World by 2Pac (specifically the part that mentions Politicians and Hypocrites) or perform a Francis M. song.
  3. Unleash hell on drivers that clog our streets, especially public utility vehicles that carry little passengers cruising recklessly at 90 kilometers per hour, potentially endangering lives and property. Better yet, ride a bicycle. That will save Malacañang a shitload of pesos – if you insist in your current abode.
  4. And while you’re at it, give up smoking and encourage more Filipinos to use bicycles when commuting (infrastructure, awareness).
  5. Flip a bird on your relatives, especially on she-who-cannot-be-named-by-Lourd-de-Veyra and on your handlers. Tell them that “I am the President and you have no right to fuck up my life”. Make the Kamaganaks feel unwelcome in the Palace.
  6. Be open to suggestions and listen to the opposition and the independents, not just loyal partymates.
  7. Leave your economics professor alone and let the plan to amend the Constitution either die or thrive, depending on the mood of our Congress. (If I was the President, I would allow her to lead the movement to amend the Constitution, provided that it amends the onerous provisions that hold back our economy from further growth and development. Nothing more, nothing less)
  8. Sustain the 35+ quarters of economic growth though a thorough review of his predecessor’s economic policies and adaptation of new ones, provided that it enhances our growth instead of hindering it).
  9. Leave the internet alone (or better yet, make a 25 megabyte broadband internet connection a basic human right for non-jejemon Filipinos who do not camwhore).
  10. Enforce old laws instead of creating new ones. Streamline the bureaucracy, make it transparent and discourage businesspersons and government officials from engaging in corrupt practices.
  11. Turn government-owned and operated broadcast entities into dispensers of Philippine culture and guardians of democracy, not just propaganda machines.
  12. Solve the Muslim and Communist insurgencies – not only through force, but also with local government units, non-government organizations, rebel returnees and the people affected by years of fighting.
  13. Encourage more inter-regional trade and strictly enforce transportation laws. Amend our antiquated traffic laws (increasing the national speed limit from 80 kilometers per hour to 100 kilometers per hour).
  14. Make this government an e-democracy. Strike out 93% of Section 176 [RA 8293].
  15. Encourage Filipinos to become more productive and more progressive persons. Exercise political will without being vindictive. Change our culture of mediocrity by not doing/saying the things that hinder the growth of the future generations – and our nation-state (Teaching them the wrong thing, threatening them with something severe or whimsical). Discourage sheepish obedience and conformity and don’t fall into the trap of populism. When you say it, you should mean it. If you don’t, then we’ll piss you off.

Other than that, I wish you good luck in your stint in the Palace. You’ll need lots of it. And don’t forget to cover your mouth while you cough.