You can’t win every battle. Many persons say this line time and time again if they lost at one thing or another. I felt that I have lost too many battles, and I don’t want to lose friends – especially those who can help on your way to a better and brighter future.
Over the past four weeks, I’ve posted at least two entries on my blog, and I didn’t mean to cause trouble or create controversy. But because some persons are offended, I have no choice but to respect their decision and remove the offending posts. However, I did so with a more unpleasant pitch, which could offend them even more.
First, I made a post on my classmates. But one person got mad because of my opinion regarding that picture. In fact, she sent a complaint through email. Like what I’ve said – no choice, obey and remove.
Then I reposted what my other classmate posted on a Facebook group. It was a bit witty, and it made a certain reference to my Math 17 instructor. Even if I removed the names of the persons involved, she wasn’t happy with what I’ve posted. In fact, I even made fun of that decision to remove the post – as a comment on that post. I even arrogantly announced that I’ve edited her comment regarding her complaint. I even placed a picture on another post that had something do with insecurity.
Now, I’m making this post – not only to apologize to the persons involved, but to myself, for allowing my ego to be inflated in the first place.
I have two questions regarding my past actions: should I apologize online and in real life? Yes, tonight, and yes, tomorrow. Shall I vow not to do it? I can’t say no to that. All I can say is “I’ll post responsibly and not repeat the same mistakes that I committed for over three weeks.” All I can do is make certain old posts private, and do necessary changes to the affected posts.
Maybe tonight could my last night as a blogger. Maybe tonight, I’ll start my life as some sort of online Luddite. But will this make an impact? For some, yes, since he won’t pester us and other people. For others, it’s a no, since he can blog without making those kind of posts. Sadly, the former may be true (for now). But the answer to the second question is no. I can’t just abandon the passion that I have since that August night in a now-boarded shop internet café along M. Basa. I have to use it well, and because of this, use it with caution – lots of it.
I can’t hide anymore. I’m sorry – not only to Angie and Ayesha, their friends and contacts, but also to my pitiful self. I wish that this could have happened to another person, but I can’t. I wish that this will be over soon, but can this be guaranteed? I hope so.
From my abode in San Pablo City, good evening, Philippines. Shalom.